To Love and Be Loved
by ohsnapitzlena
Summary: Sophie and Sian's paths cross again. Warning: emotional.
1. Sian Returns to the Cobbles

**Hi everyone! My first Siophie fic! I'm going to be posting all four chapters at once, so you don't have to worry about waiting, haha. Um, I haven't watched much of the Maddie x Sophie storyline yet so things will be made up. Also, sorry this chapter is so long, there was just so much to put in and I couldn't figure out how to split it up. Enjoy! Please review, follow and favorite :) xx**

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><p>"God, this feels so weird" she thought.<p>

It had been ages since she'd walked the street. She took in everything around her, feeling bittersweet as memories of past times came flooding into her mind. Everything about this small street had once made her feel so loved, so welcome. She still felt this way, of course. She'd lived here for the best years of her life. But.. something about it felt like someone had changed everything about the street. Everything looked the same: the same people roaming the streets, the same houses and shops. Though, something still felt like she wasn't quite home. Maybe it was because she hadn't seen Her.

She tried her hardest to not think about the girl since she'd left. In fact, the only reason she'd been on the street right then was to catch a bus home. Sian told herself incessantly that she didn't want to see that woman again in an attempt to make it true, but she knew no matter how hard she tried, She was a part of her soul Sian couldn't get rid of.

Hearing a loud laugh, she turned around. It was like someone above had listened to her subconscious wishes, because just down the street, a lively brunette stood with her back towards Sian. Her hair was pulled into a tight ponytail and had grown longer since the last time she'd seen her. Her figure was fuller, and her clothing accentuated her figure beautifully, showing her gorgeous curves. But it wasn't her appearance that gave her away. It was that tingling feeling Sian felt deep in the pit of her stomach every time the girl was near. Nothing- not even time- could make that feeling go away. She knew straight away that the woman before her was the woman she loved.

Loves. Present tense.

Sian could tell she'd obviously grown and matured, but yet, everything about her was still the same. The way she bounced when she talked happily. The way her giggle would emanate from her mouth and bounce off every building until it was inside the ears of every street-goer. It took everything in Sian's power not to go talk to Sophie; she knew she should just turn around, and walk away. She also knew she couldn't keep denying her thoughts any longer. She took one step forward, and looked down, beginning to brace herself to hear her voice once more.

But when she looked up to see a beautiful, ginger woman standing with Her, Sian stopped in her tracks.

"She's just a friend." Sian convinced herself, and continued walking.

The woman leaned in to hug the brunette.

"A very friendly friend."

Then, the red-haired woman leaned in for a kiss.

Sian stopped completely, watching as they said their goodbyes, and the brunette walked off. It was then that she and the red-headed woman caught eyes. Sian tried to breathe normally as the girl made her way to the blonde.

"Can I help ya, mate?"

"No, um, I was just going to catch my bus."

"Bus is that way." the girl said, pointing behind Sian.

"Oh, I know, I-"

"Look, I saw you eyein' my girl. Keep off, okay?"

"I wasn't going to do anythin'."

"Yeah right you weren't."

Just then, behind Sian, a familiar voice came.

"Maddie! Have you seen Kevin?" the voice yelled.

"No, Sally. He's probably at the garage." the girl called in return, then turned back to Sian.

"Look, stay away from her. She's mine."

"I've got to catch my bus." Sian said softly.

"You already missed it." she pointed.

Sian turned back to see the bus just pulling away from the stop, and sighed.

"Looks like you'll be sleeping at the bus station."

Maddie, as Sian had come to learn was her name, snickered and made her way back to the Webster household.

Sian, however, retreated to the bus station, so as not to be seen by anyone around.

* * *

><p>Hours later, Sian still sat on the cold bench of the station. She still had an hour to go until it was sun down. She rested her head on her hand and began to close her eyes, when someone shouted at her.<p>

"Oi!" they said.

Sian's eyes sprung open to see the same ginger woman running towards her.

"I'm glad you're still here."

"Why, so you can dig into me again?" Sian spat.

"No." she paused. "Look, I realize I was a bit harsh, and I'm sorry for making you miss your bus. It's just, I don't want to lose her."

She invited Maddie to sit down next to her, which she gladly accepted. Sian could see her demeanor breaking down.

"I always get the feeling I'm not good enough for her, you know? Like one day she'll find someone smarter, richer, prettier. I mean, look at you, you're gorgeous. Of course she would pick you over me if given the chance. I got scared."

Maddie became quiet and held her head down. After a few moments, she lifted her head, looking off.

"I'm telling you all this like I want your pity, which I don't." she defended.

"I wasn't pitying you. If anything, I was empathizing."

"I don't want your empathy either."

There was a small moment of quiet.

"You know, I knew this girl once. This beautiful, caring, intelligent girl who could've had anyone she wanted. But she chose me. I can't even tell you how lucky I was. But even so, I felt the same way you do now. Why me when there's someone better?"

The red-head looked at Sian, holding out her hand.

"Maddie."

Sian grasped her hand firmly and shook, replying, "Sian," with a smile.

"That's funny," Maddie started, breathing out a little laugh. "My girlfriend has a history with a girl named Sian. Maybe you know her, you Sian's all must know each other." She joked.

"Yeah, maybe."

"Well, what's your surname?"

"Oh, uh," Sian internally panicked. Maybe she could pick a fake surname to throw her off. "P-Powers." she said, and silently cursed herself for not thinking of anything but her real identity.

"You're her."

"Look, I-"

"No, see, I knew something was off about you. I _knew _you were looking at her funny."

"Mad-" Sian started.

"She doesn't love you anymore, Sian. Go home."

"I wasn't going to-" was all Sian could say before she felt a swift blow to the jaw, knocking her entire being to the ground. Her head smashed against the cobblestone, as a single tear fell from her eye.

"Stay away from her." Maddie spat, and turned on her heel, walking toward the Webster home.

Sian brushed away the tear, and sat up. She took a minute to make sure she wasn't bleeding, inspecting every section of her head.

"Sian!" called a voice. "I didn't know you were back!"

Of course, Sally Webster approached the blonde.

"Hi, Mrs. Webster."

"Oh, Sian, nothing's changed, call me Sally! Here," she said, extending a hand to help the girl up.

"Thanks." Sian muttered.

"What happened?"

"Oh," Sian said, thinking it best not to tell Sally the truth. "I just tripped over a crack in the cobbles. Fine, though, thanks!"

"Have you moved back?"

"No, I just came for an appointment a street over, but I've missed my bus and the next isn't until tomorrow."

"Well, I won't have you sleeping on the bench. Come back to ours!"

"Actually, I've just finished renting a room in the hotel one street over." Sian lied.

"Oh, well, then I'll let you on your way. Nice bumping into, Sian!"

"You too, Sally."

Sally began to turn away, walking presumably back home.

"Um, Sally?" Sian asked softly, making Sally stop. "Could you not let her know you've seen me?"

Sally stayed quiet for a moment.

"You know, she'd missed you so much after you left."

"Yeah, but she's got Maddie now, don't she."

"Sure, but that doesn't mean things weren't tough on her before Maddie. She was drinking, stopped going to sermons, even jumped off another roof. I'm sure she'd want to sort some things between the two of you.

"She what?" Sian asked, though it sounded more like an emotionless statement.

"Her shift at the shop should be over in five. Go wait in Rover's if you want to catch her. Otherwise, it was nice seeing you Sian." Sally smiled, and walked down the street.

Sian heeded her advice, but instead of waiting at the pub, went straight to Dev's shop. The chimes rang as she opened the door and stepped into the shop.

"Hiya." said the shop girl.

She walked quietly up to the brunette beauty at the counter who was looking down at a magazine.

"Hi Soph."

Sophie looked up, instantly recognizing the voice.

"Sian." was all she could croak out.

Sian smiled. "You look well."

"What're ya doing here?"

"Uh, came for an appointment."

"From Southport?"

"I needed a special kind of doctor, one they didn't have there."

"Why, are you ill?" Sophie asked with real concern.

"Um, sorta. I've got this kind of.. brain condition. But before you get all worked up, it's early and very curable. I've got 95% chance of living."

Sophie let go of the breath she was holding in.

"So I've met Maddie. She seemed sweet. Good on ya."

"Sian, I'm so sorry."

Sian did her best to fake a smile. "Stop that."

"At least let me buy you a beer or sommat."

"Yeah, sure, okay."

Sophie took no spare time clocking out, and made her way to the pub across the street with the blonde. They sat and drank a single beer each, talking about how they'd filled their time apart. Sian tried her best to listen, but she was feeling a bit light-headed.

"Sian, where ya staying tonight?"

"I've got myself a nice little bench with a lovely view of the bus." she joked.

"No way! I've always dreamed of that!" Sophie laughed. "No, but seriously, stay at mine, I know my mum won't mind."

"Oh, she's already offered, but I don't think it'd be best, with Maddie and all."

"Honestly, she won't even mind."

Sian knew this was the worst idea ever. She tried to force her lips to form a 'No,' but they agreed anyway.

"I can't believe you actually stopped by to say hi. I would've thought you'd try to stay away." Sophie said.

"To be honest, I did. But then I found out about you and the things you'd done after I left and…"

"Oh, don't worry about that. It's the past. I'm fine, you're fine. Let's just go, okay?"


	2. The End of Sian as We Know It

"Soph, I'm really not sure about this." Sian persisted.

"Really, Sian, it'll be fine!" Sophie said as she and Sian walked out of the pub.

Sian's light-headedness was subsiding, although she was still a bit dizzy. Sophie could sense this, and pulled her arm around her waist. Knowing Sian was safe in her arms relieved some of her worry. That didn't last long.

"Sophie?" Maddie asked from afar.

It was dark now, and difficult to see, but Sophie could definitely recognize the voice.

"Oh, Maddie, this is-"

"I thought I told you to stay away from her." Maddie barked at Sian.

"No, Maddie, it was my idea to get a drink." Sophie defended.

"I thought you loved me, Soph."

"Maddie, of course I love you! I was just gettin' a drink!"

"I wish I could believe you Sophie but after everything you told me about her…"

"Maddie, nothing is going on here." Sophie insisted. She knew deep down that maybe she wasn't being completely truthful, but she _did_ love Maddie. Right?

"And you." Maddie said to Sian. "Couldn't keep your grubby hands off her, could you, you cow."

"Oi! Don't call her a cow."

"What, so now you're sticking up for her again? It's so obvious you're still in love with her, Sophie! Did you think I wouldn't realize? You keep a picture of you two by your bedside! You say her name in your sleep, Soph!"

"No I don't, you're lying." Sophie tried to disbelieve it.

"You're too stubborn to give up on something! You betrayed her, Sophie! Get over it and move on!"

"I have moved on." At this point, Sophie was holding back tears.

"No you haven't Soph. You never have. You never will. I'm done trying to compete with a little chav like her."

"Don't you dare talk about Sian like that."

"Soph, it's okay, really." Sian interjected quietly.

"Keep out of this, you're the one who wrecked this relationship."

"I swear to God, if you say one more thing about her."

"She's a little home wrecker and you know it."

"You know, Maddie, you were wrong. I did love you. But I don't think I'll ever understand how I could ever feel that way about someone like you." Sophie stared her down for what seemed like forever, until finally she said, "Come on, Sian. We're going."

Sophie and Sian began to walk back towards the Webster household, when Sian heard a low grumble.

"Bloody cow."

Sian broke Sophie's hold and stood right in Maddie's face, just as Sophie had been.

"Keep your comments to yourself. Just because Sophie broke up with you, doesn't mean you can be a pathetic, lowlife."

With that, Maddie smacked Sian, sending her fumbling backwards and eventually onto the ground.

"What the hell, Maddie?" Sophie yelled.

With one look down at Sian, Maddie ran into the night, knowing exactly what she'd done.

"Come on, Sian, let's go home." Sophie said. But Sian didn't reply. "Sian?" she repeated. When no answer came again, she bent next to the blonde on the ground.

"Oh God." she whispered as she put her ear to Sian's chest.

"Sian, oh God, you're still breathing." Now, Sophie was crying. "Sian, please, if you can hear me, wake up."

Sophie could not contain herself. This woman she loved was an unconscious heap on the cold cobbles of Coronation Street in the dark, and there was no one around to help. She wept and breathed erratically as she picked up the blonde from the ground and ran with her to the pub.

"Help!" Sophie screamed as she entered the pub. "She's hurt, please, someone."

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><p>Sophie sat, crying desperately into her sister's arms in the waiting room of the hospital. She'd run into Rosie at the pub, who called the ambulance. Sian was buried somewhere inside this hospital, and all Sophie could do was wait.<p>

"Sophie, she'll be okay." Rosie soothed, rubbing circles on her back.

Sophie tried to protest, but no words would come out- only more sobs.

Footsteps thudded through the waiting room and towards the two Webster sisters.

"Uh, Sian Powers?"

Sophie and Rosie immediately got to their feet- Sophie still a crying wreck.

"We've gone through her medical records and found her recent diagnosis, which helped with our process of discovering the problem." A doctor said.

"And?" Sophie inquired impatiently.

"Her brain is bleeding internally, caused by disruption and the alcohol in her system."

"But she only had one drink." Sophie said erratically.

"No matter the amount, it played a part in harming her brain."

"What do you mean by 'dysruption'?" Rosie asked.

"It seems that Ms. Powers suffered multiple blows to the head; two, maybe three."

"Maddie." Sophie breathed out.

"Well how do you fix this?" Rosie pushed.

"I don't think you understand the severity of the situation. Ms. Powers's condition is stable for the moment but since she's conscious now, that could break at any time."

"Stop dancing around the subject, is she okay or not?"

The doctor paused.

"If Sian's condition worsens, we won't be able to stabilize her as easily as the first time."

"Oh God." Sophie cried, breaking down once more.

"So you're saying she's… dying?" Rosie asked calmly.

"I'm very sorry Ms. Webster." He smiled sympathetically towards Sophie. "You can see her if you'd like."

Sophie simply nodded, and the doctor led her to Sian's room, with Rosie staying in the waiting room.

"Oh, my God." Sophie breathed upon seeing Sian. Her face was only bruised, but it was the wires and tubes going from her to the machines that frightened Sophie the most.

"Sian." she whispered, taking her hand.

"Sophie?" Sian asked.

"Yeah, yeah it's me."

"I love you." she said calmly.

"I love you too." Sophie said, trying not to let Sian on to how hard this was for her.

"Sophie, sing to me."

"Okay, Sian."

She began to sing softly through her tears.

"Soph," Sian started. "Don't leave."

"I'm not going anywhere, Sian, I swear." Sophie replied, not understanding. Had she shifted and made her think she was getting up?

"Sophie, please, don't leave."

"Sian, I promise, I'm not going to leave you. I'll stay right in this chair until they let you out of here."

Two nurses ran into the room, startling Sophie a bit. She'd been so wrapped up in Sian, she hadn't even noticed the monitor beeping more and more rapidly. She understood now.

"Sian, no.."

"Don't leave." Sian whispered.

"Sian, I'm here." Sophie said, squeezing Sian's hand to let her know her statement was true. She was crying more and more heavily with each passing minute.

"I love you, Sophie."

She placed a single kiss on Sian's lips, then her forehead.

"I love you, Sian."


	3. Can't Walk Away

Sophie watched as the men and women all dressed in deep tones walked away from the dismal sight. The stone was in, the dirt placed. She had asked to be alone. She'd been an emotionless robot since it happened. Sian would want her to be strong, and the only way she knew how to do that was to just isolate herself. But something always needed to be done, and she never had a minute alone. So she'd asked for one when everything was said and done.

She walked away from her father, who held an umbrella over her head and sat down on top of the wet grass, under the gray sky, and let the rain fall down around her. Her sister took her hand, squeezed it, and walked with her parents back to their house, leaving Sophie alone at last.

"Sian." she said.

She sobbed so quietly, it was almost inaudible.

"I can't believe this." she whispered. For a while, all she could do was whisper Sian's name. As it grew colder and later, she sat, hoping maybe somehow it would make things okay.

"Sian, it's only been three days and I already miss you." Sophie began. "I can't even tell you what it was like to watch it happen. It was like you see on the telly, but it hurt so much more to be there than to watch it through your screen. You kept telling me not to go, but Sian, I wasn't going anywhere. I held your hand, and God, I hope you knew I was still there. I'd never leave you Sian. Never."

She wiped the rain from her cheek, wishing it was Sian's thumb wiping it and not her own, and continued on.

"Watching you lie there in that little silk case, nothing left but a shell," she paused. "It broke my heart all over again. If that's even possible. With everyone saying their goodbyes and placing their flowers I just…"

She cried harder.

"I just…"

She continued to cry until there was no breath left. Even then she continued, heaving in and out, trying to calm herself back down. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop herself from rocking back and forth, endlessly shaking. Sophie couldn't help but feel completely alone now. Rosie was going off to some foreign country, her dad was wrapped up in Jack, her mum was working harder than ever, Maddie had left. And now this. Now Sian was gone.

"I love you so much, Sian. More than anything or anyone I've ever loved. I know we were apart for a while but that doesn't mean I ever stopped loving you. Nothing could make me stop loving you, not even this."

Sophie just sat. She didn't even mind that her clothes were drenched and her hair was soaked. She didn't care, so long as she was still with Sian.

"It's getting dark." Sophie said quietly after calming herself down. She knew she would have to go home at some point, but she couldn't bring herself to get off the ground. "I told you I would never leave you, and I meant that."

She was so torn. She'd swore to Sian that she would never leave. She _couldn't _leave; nothing in her would let her leave knowing that the love of her couldn't leave with her. Her beautiful, lifeless body lying six feet underneath Sophie's feet.

But she knew she couldn't stay there on the dirt forever. She had to at least _try _to let go. For Sian.

She closed her eyes and sighed a heavy breath. "I really miss you, Sian."

Finally, Sophie stood up. She wiped the mud off her as best as she could, and while the light was still there for a few more seconds, she took one last look at the stone in front of her.

"Sian Powers

1994-2014

'You've gotta keep smiling until I get there, promise?'"


	4. Life After Love

The ground felt hard, harder than she'd expected when she first set her body on the carpet. Of course, she could've chosen to lie on the bed or the couch even, but to say the ground was softer than either was an understatement. She lived in a little apartment, newly built, on the end of Coronation Street. Alone, she might add. She liked it better that way.

She'd realized as of late that she liked to be alone sometimes, but she never fancied being lonely. Without Sian, that's exactly how she felt.

Her brain wandered to the past, allowing her to remember all those nights, sleeping hand-in-hand in her tiny, single bed. She remembered the times they'd spent watching telly, eating whatever food was in the house, most often with the blonde in her lap. She remembered the walks they'd take when everything got to be too much. Sophie tried to continue that on her own after Sian… but it wasn't at all the same. If anything, it made her feel worse. Not having that hand to hold, that presence to make her warm inside- it made her lonelier than ever.

She picked her head up a tiny bit, letting loose strands of hair fall all around her face as the rest of her hair stayed in a messy bun. Moving her leg, she felt the material of her sweatpants- or should she say, Sian's sweatpants- rub against her leg. Covering her torso was the black shirt she'd bought at the festival she and Sian attended together. Maybe wearing them would make her feel close to Sian, she thought.

But it didn't. They were just memories.

Sophie picked up the liquor bottle next to her, and realizing it was empty, put it with the previous four bottles she'd downed. It was hard stuff. She knew exactly what she was doing as she opened the last bottle she had. After taking a large swig, she put the bottle back down, cap off, and picked up the picture of Sian she had next to her and pressed it hard to her chest. She could feel hot tears trickling down her cheeks.

For the past three years, Sophie did nothing but try to let go.

"I tried, Sian." she whispered. "I tried like I know you wanted me to but it's done. I can't anymore."

She pulled her free hand over her mouth, still clutching the picture to her chest with the other, in an attempt to conceal her now erratic sobs. She wanted to scream, but she knew that would only let anyone around know what she was doing, and this time, she didn't want to be saved. Ryan Connor, her old friend and Sian's ex-boyfriend, was supposed to drop by an hour or so later to pick up something he'd left a few weeks before, and she planned that he would discover her body. She couldn't bare to let her family find her.

When her breathing calmed, she began to whisper again.

"I can feel it." she started. "I'm going now. Although it's well known to everyone around that when Sian died.. I died too. I've been a walking shell since she left, trying desperately to move on." she paused. "But I can't. So here I am. Drowning in my tears and endless bottles of alcohol."

With that, she took another swig, and clutched the picture tighter.

"I'm not scared of dying." she said, though barely audible. "I'm not scared of leaving or anything like that. I'm not. Because this means that maybe, just maybe, you'll be there waiting for me, Sian, on the other side."

"If there even is another side." she thought. "There must be another side without a God."

She couldn't decipher her thoughts on her faith. Was there a God? And would she even want to see him if there were? She was angry at him. Why would any God take away someone as deserving of life as Sian? She was going to live, she was going to be okay. How could he take away such a precious life? Such a bright future, with endless opportunities to present themselves and yet there was no longer anyone to present them to. She couldn't understand. If there was a God... how could he be so cruel? To her; to Sian?

"Sian." she whispered, as her eyes slowly slipped shut.

Sophie could see her bright smile, her glowing blonde curls. This was it. She could be with Sian at last.

"I love you, Sian."

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><p>Sophie Webster died alone. Physically. No one was around to witness her take her last breath. But Sophie knew Sian was right there waiting, holding out her hand, to welcome Sophie back into her arms.<p> 


End file.
